Friday, 21 March 2014

Betrayal

Have you ever been stuck in a situation where you want to forgive but you also, at the same time, could not forgive.

 

Let's not talk about forgetting because, usually things are not meant to be forgotten so it is etched as a lesson.

Many people say it is like a scar, even if it fades, it is still there.

But I like to say it as, tattoo. You want it, but it hurts. And when you decide to remove it, it hurts even more. And the time for recovery is even longer.


You know its gonna hurt once you step into it. But you still decided to do it.

You know how much it is going to bleed and change you  but you still decided to do it.

You were firm.

But, when people start judging you because you have one.

People give you the fuck face when you walk pass them.

You start asking yourself if you did a right choice.

For me, I don't really care because, I wanted it.

This, does not only imply to things. It implies to people around you. To people all around you.

Your family, your lover, you boyfriend, girlfriend, auntie, uncle.

If someone you trusted really bad, but they betrayed you. They broke down as well and promise they will never do it again. Im a sucker really, I become weak like eff when I see people I love break down because honestly I never want to see them cry. I'd rather take their place and handle all the pain they are going to have.

But at that moment you found the truth all you can think of is, actually you won't even be thinking. You will break down at that moment. Your heart will fall to the ground immediately. And you will have crazy ideas. What have you done to deserve that?

It hurts like a wound, except with salt rubbed into it.


Trusting someone doesn't come easy. Once you trust that person, that person is a potential series killer.

A beautiful killer.


They can have the most angel face to you, treat you like their best, love you to every single bit of your flaws. They're perfect. That's what make them dangerous. They can kill you for all they want.

That is why people say you are better off without people whom you think you need. Because you take strength from them. And if they are gone, where is your strength going to be? You are going to die without someone? Don't be a fool.


For me, I don't need anyone to survive. I said it. But I WANT them.

you could throw me to a desert for 10 days alone, I won't die without people. I die because I don't have food and water.

From this moment on, you, yeah you cannot let anyone be the life of yours. Your life, will not only surround 1 person. There are 6 billion people, there must be someone that wants to be your friend. If this place doesn't have. Move to another.

Just, if someone wants to leave you, let them, it's good for both sides.

People leave me, I don't care anymore. Leave all you want, but you must know, once you leave someone have a high chance of replacing your stand, and I would still be happy. Because people come and go, I don't want to force anyone to stay any longer. I do not have the time to.

Betrayal is the highest level of pain.


Because you cannot see it coming, and it comes in all directions and hit you all at once. ALL AT ONCE.

Just because you think, you think it won't happen. That is where you are in the danger zone again. You are highly likely to be attacked. That is how impulsive people can be, doing the wrong things.

Sometimes, you ought to just sit down and reflect what the eff you actually did for the whole day, what you did right, what you did you think you can do better, or if you meet the same situation how differently will you react to the next time you see it.

Because people grow wiser because they experience things. If you never go out and have enough exposure to the world or just things around you. You are going to be left out, badly, super badly.

Experience is something we all cannot buy and could only have it by doing it.

The more you practice the better it becomes they say, I don't give a shit about this because my math still suck like hell. I keep sleeping, so am I super good at sleeps? mmmmmmmmmm, damn.

just, are you able to forgive and forget easily?

I'm sorry, I can't.



instagram : nsnceline

 dont ask me why, I know the feeling of pain.

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