Monday, 28 July 2014

vide : leer : empty

Never felt so empty in my life before.

But this emptiness is making me feel insanely sane.

How much do you want me to prove to you that I am just a nut shell left here?

Do you want to take a look inside?

Do you want to rip my chest apart?

Do you want to experiment?

I am liking this feeling, the feeling of nothingness, I like how light weight my heart feels, well since it is empty.

NO, please do not mistake and mix this with insecurity, this isn't insecurity at all. You have to feel insecurity, but I don't even feel now so.. yeah.

You can say that this is attention seeking. I am seeking for other's sympathy, other's care, other's time and effort. If that is what you are feeling, I am sorry then, maybe I am?

Haven't been eating dinner well this days, cannot really seem to eat anything down. Not even water.

All this are fearing me. I am afraid of what I might be coming through, the outcome of what I have chose. I am not a good person, I am not a saint, and I am not sorry for that?

Not sure what is emotions right now, I feel nothing. When I say nothing, it is really nothing.

No love.

No care.

No pain.

No fucks in short.

Yeah, like I always say, who the hell do I think I am to deserve to be treated like a princess. In my mind, I am already one so yeah does not really matter.

Hey, you. Are you in my life now? If you are, I give you a chance now. Run away if you want, go as far as you want away from me. Tell me now, if you really want to. I would love to see you, and your back turning towards me.

The feeling of betrayal is the best feeling on earth. It stings alittle, but at least I know. It is not me handling this piece of shit anymore.

I just want to cover my face. I live on. 

Nothing matters much anymore.

Running a fever while I type this, hope it makes some sense at least.

instagram: @nsnceline


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