I just lost my precious mousepad.
I am not a happy girl right now. (WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY)
For people who are extremely curious about my life. Let me just tell you what is going on.
Every morning, yes I still wake up in the morning, I wake up and wash up and MAKE MY BLANKETS (2016 resolution), and do my makeup.
The thing is that, makeup used to be like a bonus for me, like it be a thing I do when I have extra free time BUT things has evolved to the point where I feel bad not wearing makeup, so I basically do my makeup every single day, simple or not, time constrain or not, whatever circumstances, you know that black eyeliner and lipstick still gotta go up on your face.
After all those boring stuff, I go ahead and eat my lunch, 12NOON is my lunch time at home. Watch anime, play games, eat all sorts of junk food that I should not be eating.
Listen to a bunch of songs on the TV then probably go out or repeat 10x throughout the day.
Honestly, I have no life or rather, THIS IS MY LIFE. I enjoy every second of it, really.
I need to address something, which is my youtube.
I stopped making youtube, for various various reasons. Mostly my own personal reasons, and I really didn’t want to get my life affected just because of that. So, I will start doing in blog format. Whether it is, makeup, lifestyle, no more videos unless I feel like it again.
This holiday made me realize that, I live to please the people that I care for. So, whatever I did wrongly, or not according to how they like it to be, it is considered as a disappointment to them. I tend to work towards that goal to make my family and friends happy but I also realize, that, that is the reason why I have been so upset.
As I grow up, I start to know things like:
How I want to get this thing done.
How I want to present this.
How I want to present myself.
How I want to live my life.
For example, I have to cook spaghetti. In the past, I would google hundreds of recipes, try out what others consider “delicious” spaghetti. Even if it is just spaghetti, there is cream based, tomato based, mushroom sauce, olive based. So many different pastas to choose from, Angel Hair, Macaroni, Farfelle, Lasagna. After so many tries of different pastas and sauce, I am sure one day you will know exactly what you like and how you like it to be cooked. How the sauce is supposed to taste like. How soft the pasta is supposed to be.
I consider the time for me to know what I like and prefer to be very experimental. You will get hurt, you will get sad and disappointed, some even furious. I like to think that growing up is a big process, a long and daunting road that some people don’t make it through.
Just remember, if you are age between 14-21, everyone around you is going through the same thing. You might think that this is the worst you can ever be, no, in the future, there is going to be worse things happening. All of this just trains you to be the strong adult you can be next time.
Dark clouds will clear, no matter what. I don’t promise rainbows, but I promise sun shine.
I try to keep it as real as possible, yet as tactful as possible.
But some people just cannot take in sugar-coated advices. At least for myself, I really dislike it when people sugar coat their opinions. If you know me personally, you would know that I really keep my words to minimal and straight to the point.
I guess that is probably the reason people ask me for relationship advices, friendship advices. And I probably guessed that this is the reason why people call me arrogant, over-confident, self-centered.
I acknowledge my strength. No one else is going to, so why not do it yourself?
Let me tell you, if you were to ever go get a job, with an interview, they are going to ask you, WHY are you so worth hiring.
Girl, or Boy, I need you to find a day, SIT DOWN, write down a list of things that you find you are good at. Don’t be dumb and think you cannot do anything, from a grown teen to a baby in 5 seconds.
It can be things like, I am always punctual, I can eat 10 pack of doritos at once. It is the endless possibilities my friend.
Give yourself some recognition today.
Do what makes you happy.
I believe people who really cares and love you, will be happy just by seeing you squirm in laughter.
Until then, Good Luck.